Mean Machine
Everyone has their stories of some incidents or the other with their ATM machines. The other day, my friend left his card in the card slot of a nearby ATM thinking he had collected it while the machine had gobbled it up without ...erm...a beep. Today I had a brush with the same teller machine. I went to collect some cash (obviously!) and was in a bit of a hurry when this happened.
After inserting the card, our conversation (me and the machine) went something like this. The words in bracket are my thoughts at the time...
ATM: Do you want a printed receipt?
Me: No (I care for the environment.)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (When did I say I wanted them in the first place?)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (For heaven sake! I'm getting late here.)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (If you ask one more time, I'm gonna smash you and take the cash.....AND the receipt.)
With a thundering beep, the screen which asks you to enter PIN and all popped up. With equal amounts of relief and joy, I entered the PIN and the amount to be tendered and account type and blah blah and hit enter. I was not aware that my euphoria was going to be short lived. The machine started the dreaded conversation all over again.
ATM: Continue without receipt?
Me: (What?! Not again!) Yes
ATM: C.o.n.t.i.n.u.e. w.i.t.h.o.u.t. r.e.c.e.i.p.t? Are you $%#%$$$ serious? You *$##@#&&% &$^&%#$%#$#
That's how machines swear.
Having not smarted from my previous tete-a-tete with the machine on the matter of the mighty receipt, I went ahead and pressed 'Yes' again. I waited for the machine to punch me on the face this time. I can bet I heard a deep sigh coming out from inside the cash slot. The machine promptly spitted out the card, and with a jolly face displayed what seemed to me the most sarcastic arrangement of words I had seen in a while...
"Thank you for using Laxmi Vilas Bank ATM"
"Don't mention it!", I said with a stiff upper lip and left.
After inserting the card, our conversation (me and the machine) went something like this. The words in bracket are my thoughts at the time...
ATM: Do you want a printed receipt?
Me: No (I care for the environment.)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (When did I say I wanted them in the first place?)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (For heaven sake! I'm getting late here.)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (If you ask one more time, I'm gonna smash you and take the cash.....AND the receipt.)
With a thundering beep, the screen which asks you to enter PIN and all popped up. With equal amounts of relief and joy, I entered the PIN and the amount to be tendered and account type and blah blah and hit enter. I was not aware that my euphoria was going to be short lived. The machine started the dreaded conversation all over again.
ATM: Continue without receipt?
Me: (What?! Not again!) Yes
ATM: C.o.n.t.i.n.u.e. w.i.t.h.o.u.t. r.e.c.e.i.p.t? Are you $%#%$$$ serious? You *$##@#&&% &$^&%#$%#$#
That's how machines swear.
Having not smarted from my previous tete-a-tete with the machine on the matter of the mighty receipt, I went ahead and pressed 'Yes' again. I waited for the machine to punch me on the face this time. I can bet I heard a deep sigh coming out from inside the cash slot. The machine promptly spitted out the card, and with a jolly face displayed what seemed to me the most sarcastic arrangement of words I had seen in a while...
"Thank you for using Laxmi Vilas Bank ATM"
"Don't mention it!", I said with a stiff upper lip and left.
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