Mean Machine

Everyone has their account of some incidents or the other with their local ATM. The other day, Ghoda left his card in the card slot of a nearby ATM (Lakshmi Vilas Bank, to be precise) thinking he had collected it while the machine had gobbled it up without a...erm...beep. Today I had a brush with the aforementioned teller machine myself. I went to collect some cash (obviously!) and was in a bit of a hurry when this incident happened.

After inserting the card, our conversation (me and the machine) went something like this. The words in bracket are my thoughts at the time...

ATM: Do you want a printed receipt?
Me: No (its ok!)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (When did I say I wanted them in the first place?)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (For heaven sake! I'm getting late here.)
ATM: Receipts may not be printed . Do you want to continue?
Me: Yes (If you ask one more time, I'm gonna smash you and take the cash.....AND the receipt.)

With a thundering beep, the screen which asks you to enter PIN and all popped up. With equal amounts of relief and joy, I entered the PIN and the amount to be tendered and account type and blah blah and hit enter. I was not aware that my euphoria was going to be short lived. The machine started the dreaded conversation all over again.

ATM: Continue without receipt?
Me: (What?! Not again!) Yes
ATM: C.o.n.t.i.n.u.e. w.i.t.h.o.u.t. r.e.c.e.i.p.t? Are you $%#%$$$ serious? You *$##@#&&% &$^&%#$%#$#

At least this is how I remember it. Like my biology teacher, frowning from behind her horn rimmed spectacles and asking "What are you talking about?" with a mix of doubt (over my capabilities) and disgust when I'd suggest Darwin ruined the way we look at the world today.

Without smarting from my previous one on one with the machine on the same, apparently, monumental matter of the receipt, I went ahead and pressed 'Yes' again. I could almost picture the machine punching me on the face this time. The same screen and the same question yet again. Completely bereft of any hope or belief, I pressed 'No'. I can bet I heard a deep sigh coming out from inside the cash slot. The machine promptly spitted out the card, and with a jolly face displayed what seemed to me the most sarcastic arrangement of words I had seen in a while...

"Thank you for using Laxmi Vilas Bank ATM"

"Don't mention it!", I said with clenched teeth and left the place bemused.

You Just Entered A No Smoking Zone

With the introduction of the latest in a long list of stupid attention seeking measures by Mr Health Minister, smoking has been banned in public places(sounds about right, right? Wrong!). The public places, however, include pubs, restaurants, discotheques etc where smoking is an integral part of the whole picture. People go to these places to chill out, have a drink or two, shake the body to the tune and have a puff with friends. Removing smoke from the pubs and discs is like removing the smile from Mona Lisa. The argument given for this measure is that non-smokers are entitled to fresh and smoke free air to breathe. Fair enough! But the twist in the tale is that the smokers now have no place to smoke but maybe in their own rooms or the outskirts of the city(esp in a place like Bangalore) as every place here is a public place. Imagine people going to Nandi Hills to have a smoke.

From what I can foresee, this law is yet another tool for the men in khaki to drive some moolah out of the innocent smokers' pockets. Some gray areas will always be there while defining a 'public place' and that would be the point of argument which almost always end up in the policemen getting his pockets warmer.

To be fair, I have no issues with the law being enforced in the right places. Why would I? The only problem I have is with the definition of public places which includes pubs and discs. Well quite literally they are public places, but these place should be exempt from such a law because these places are meant for drinks and smokes. People who have problem with either generally don't go to such places. And seriously, if you've come to a pub, you can't crib about passive smoking. That's what I used to tell some of my non-smoker friends who used to come to pubs with us anyway. Now they'll have me eat my words...but I can only sympathize with them as the day is not far when our health minister himself will have to do the same.

Rant over!

So here goes my first Triveni...its in English, and in my opinion, for the first time. So I can be accredited with the adaptation of Triveni in English and all that... :)

Anyway!


Relive that past of yours, if you can
Put the future on hold.

There's no price for insanity!


(more to follow...)

Triveni

There's a lovely form of poetry in Hindi and Urdu, called Triveni. As the name suggests, its a
combination of three lines...the first two rhyme and set up a message, the third totally different
from the first two in context, completes their meaning. This form of poetry is actually in its
infancy really, as it was developed by Gulzar, a famous song writer and poet in Hindi and Urdu.

To give you an idea, here's an example...

Zulf mein yoo chamak rahi hai boond
(A (water)drop shines in my hairs)
Jaise beree mein tanhaa ik jugnoo
(like a lonely firefly on a Green Berry tree!)

kyaa buraa hai jo chhat tapaktee hai!
(Whats the problem if the roof drips?!)


Thats just an example and a very bad effort at translating it in english.
(sorry for that!) But you have an idea, right?

Now I'd be trying out this form in some of my forthcoming works...partly because
I love it but mostly because I don't have enough time to be writing like
I previously used to.

Wind and Window Flower

one of my favourites of Robert Frost...

Lovers, forget your love, And list to the love of these, She a window flower, And he a winter breeze. When the frosty window veil Was melted down at noon, And the caged yellow bird Hung over her in tune, He marked her though the pane, He could not help but mark, And only passed her by To come again at dark. He was a winter wind, Concerned with ice and snow, Dead weeds and unmated birds, And little of love could know. But he signed upon the sill, He gave the sash a shake, As witness all within Who lay that night awake. Perchange he half prevailed To win her for the flight From the firelight looking-glass And warm stove-window light. But the flower leaned aside And thought of naught to say, And morning found the breeze A hundred miles away.

Pretty Face

O pretty face
let me be next to you today
i always wished us to be together
together from dawn till dusk
from nadir till zenith
from the moment i saw you
till the moment i see nothing

Who knows where life takes us
as we move on
whether i'll be there
caressing your temples
and feeling your sweet presence
mingled in the aura of love
love, filling the emptiness
between us and the stars
who knows...

If today, you go away
nothing will change in this world
but there will be no world for me
like a thirsty person
in the midst of an ocean
dying for a drop of life
i would wander pale and blue
just to have a sight of you

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Avant Garde

Costard caused widespread consternation in the German art scene with his short debut film Warum hast du mich wachgeküsst (Why did you kiss me awake?) in 1967. With a moving camera the moviewatcher enters a room. In a mirror he witnesses how a young naked girl keeps the camera under her arm. She opens a drawer, leaves the camera inside and closes it. The spectator is captured in darkness. A masterpiece in only three minutes, according to the critics. When the employees of the theatre turned on the lights, the audience was outraged as they felt they still were in that drawer and now the spell was broken; avant garde cinema at its best.

A Retrospection

Memories are like a sudden gust of cold breeze; they leave you shivering as they pass by the moors of your mind. A retrospection can take you to the good moments which you cherish and the bad ones which you would not want to remember again, but, nonetheless, they do appear without you being conscious of them. You cannot avoid a recollection, whether of joy or agony or thrill, it just hits you and then goes away. I have many such memories which I want to share because I think that is the only way by which I can live those moments again. But to find a potential listener is a huge ask, therefore, I decided to jot them down here. One such incident, which I think was one of the most thrilling of all, is what I am describing here. It still leaves me trembling with fear when I am reminded of it.

This happened when I was in 11th standard. We were a group of four; one of the most famous clans in the the school, and infamous as well. We were like four wheels of a wagon-a wagon on the roll, driven by the horses of joie de vivre. Everyone of us was unique (like everyone else!). Saurabh was a very good athelete...I am saying 'was' because he has quit atheletics. But there was a time when he was a district level record holder in 100m heat and high jump events. He was also our personal bank; used to give away loans to all of us when in need, and leave alone the interest, we rarely paid him back the basic. He was the first one to have a bike in our class, though by 11th standard we all managed a two wheeler each, mine was a bajaj chetak schooter which we used during emergency. Two bikes were enough for four of us and we loved biking. Lavesh, a cousin of Saurabh, was a vital part of the setup because of his facility in making female friends. We just stood and stared how easily he used to mix with the opposite sex, how coolly he talked with them and be pals in a few minutes of conversation. He was our passport to the world of the fairer sex. (He's still the same but I am using the past tense in order to have some continuity and uniformity). Not only this, he was also a good athelete and a very cheerful person. Neil was truly unique...he was esoteric! I can write a whole new blog if I have to describe him from whatever small knowledge I have about him. Though we'd been together for just two years then, he was like the friend for life to me. He was a very good writer; he would have, probably, written this one more readerfriendly than me. He was special in a way that my words cannot do justice to his persona, nonetheless, I would like to introduce him to a wider world. So I would rather leave it for now...maybe in my next blog. And last but not least, the final wheel of the wagon, me. Well, now that I have given a brief introduction, or an adoration, so to say, of the other three, I would tell about myself. Not what I am now and my hobbies and my ambitions...I would rather tell what I was in the clan. I was their maths teacher and used to take heavy treats for giving fundaes before the exams. I was a very good student in the eyes of the teachers unlike the other three...Neil was average and the two cousins were below average. Not only this, I was an active participant in other school activities which made the teachers wonder how I could probably be a part of them. I was like a bridge between the two extremes.

Ok pals! Enough of this introduction part, now goes the incident which I had set out to narrate. I and Saurabh lived in the same colony. Our houses were quite close, while the other two lived farther; though close to each other. I always accompanied Saurabh to the school...this dates back to the days when we used to go on cycles...but now we used Saurabh's bike. Neil used to come on Lavesh's bike. One fine morning we decided to bunk school, after we had left from our homes. This was the first time when after leaving for school we were going to bunk. So, obviously, we were excited about it. The problem was, however, that we had to spend more than six hours outside, somewhere where we could not be tracked, and we could'nt decide the place for half an hour. During that time, somewhere between 8 am and 9 am, we were at a bakery shop having our brakefast, for the second time, just in order to keep away from the eyes of anyone who knew us and could see us in the school uniform. That was the ideal place to decide on our next step. Someone came up with an idea of going to a place called Mowgli Water Park which was quite a distance from there at the outskirts of our city.

"That would be a good place as it is very far and no one in their dreams would come there and see us. Moreover, we can have a lot of fun there. I can't think of a better place, dudes", suggested Lavesh.

"But its not as easy as it sounds. There is only one road which we can take, and our school is in the way...and we are in school dress, cant even go back to change. If by any chance anyone sees us on the way, we are dead. That fatty will take us by our ass. She'll call our parents and then god knows what will happen...my dad will kill me, surely.", I said.
We used to call our principal fatty, though she was'nt that fat. No one had thought about this. The plan was in the drain. Then Saurabh came up with another idea.
"Why dont we go to Lucknow? No fear of being caught, and we can have a lot more fun there. We can go to Rave (multiplex)!"

He had a wide grin when he said that and everyone knew why. Rave was a hotspot; girls, McDonald's, movies, Pizza Hut...everything was there. But to go there was a big ask, that too on bikes...it was more than 60 km and we had never done that. The idea seemed wilder because we had only till 2 pm in our hands and it was already 9. Only the journey would have taken some two and half hours. When nothing could be finalised till 9 Neil suggested that we must stop thinking about going anywhere and go back to our places.

"What will you say to your mom?", asked Lavesh.

"Nothing. I'll say the school was closed due to unfortunate death of fatty's father-in-law.", replied Neil, though he was'nt sure he'll say the same.

"Aah...very nice! You know one thing, my father is a very good friend of fatty's husband. As soon as he gets the news, he'd visit them to console them. Then what?", I said in a certain disgust.
Now you people must be thinking that I could have told some other lie to my parents, but that was a thing we never dared to do beacause our parents all were of the same inquisitive type. And all were good friends among themselves. Any inconsistency in the stories we told would definitely be tracked down by them. It was a sort of a tacit agreement that each of us would tell the same thing to our parents to keep it consistent. After saying all that, I must also admit that I did'nt want to go back home after all this. We finally decided to go ahead with our initial plan. The idea was that it was already well over the opening time of the school and no one would be there outside the school to watch us. It was 9 when all four stood up at once, paid the bills and set out for the journey. I was sitting behind Saurabh and Neil behind Lavesh on the bikes as we whizzed passed the school gate and, to our comfort, no one saw us.

Saurabh was a very good rider too. By good I mean he was very fast. Lavesh was also good but not better than Saurabh. Saurabh had already suffered some minor road accidents, one of which was a little serious in which he lost him mobile phone and a small chip of his canine teeth, but he never slowed down. With every hiccup he became more and more confident and as a result, faster. Initially when I had to sit with him on bike, my pulse rate used to become higher and heart beat louder. But not anymore. I became more than accustomed to his way of riding; I started enjoying it!

We were flying past the petty vehicles now, in the fullness of all the hues which the world has to offer to a person who has just been released from captivity. The highway road ahead of us was like stretched arms of the proposition called freedom, calling us to give a deep hug. I never preferred driving when we were together for I was awefully slow for them, and for myself. Our destination was some 15 km from the place we started and it took no more than 10 min to reach there. We were there by 9:20 am and, to our disgust, the water park was to be opened at 10. The place was on the highway road with no mark of any locality there. Some vehicle repair shops, a filling station and a dhabba was all we could see. We decided to sit at the dhabba for the time being. But, again, simply sitting there wont do, we'd have to order something and we were already more than full. Still we had no other option. At the dhabba we ordered three cool drinks, Neil did'nt want one. We sat there and pondered over the day so far, and the story it could make of us if we were to be caught later on. Nothing much was said but we all were thinking.

Finally the watch struck 10 and it was the time for the park to open. We purchased the student discounted tickets, Saurabh paid as usual, and we went in. It was deserted inside with no one but us four and a few workers moving here and there in commotion which was quite expected. Afterall, they had received early visitors. The pools were awefully beautiful; water clear as crystal. This was a wonderful time for all of us, a time to forget all the agony of attending classes and listening to those boring moral lectures by the parents, a time to be free. The best thing was that the authorities there provided the swim suits.

We danced and laughed and slid on those twisted water slides. Neil knew swimming...he showed us some of his skills. We just sat along the edge of the pool and watched him. After some time had passed a few more people started coming in. By 11 we had more than ten people's company, two of them were pretty girls. The scenario became even more fantastic. Time passed by in a blitz and before we could even gather our breath, it was already 1:00 pm. We were feeling extremely hungry after all the energetic activities that we did. There was a restaurant within the water park. We had lunch in there and now it was the time to leave; athough we did'nt want to, we had to, inevitably! All of us did'nt say anything but I know all were feeling same as I felt.
Nonetheless, we set out on our way back. All of us was extremely pleased, and for sometime we had forgotten the school, the teachers, the books. In the same high, both the cousins were driving...at high speeds. I was again behind Saurabh. Our bike was a ahead of their's for a moment and the next moment they overtook us, then again we whizzed pass them. This continued for sometime until Saurabh saw a lorry in front which was moving in our direction. A bus was coming from the opposite direction. At that moment we were a few meters ahead of the other bike. Saurabh slowed down in order to let the bus cross the lorry, thinking Lavesh would also slow down. But, to our amazement, he did'nt. He went on with the same high speed, overtook us and tried to overtake the lorry before the bus could reach parallel to it. This was crazyness! I cried from behind and asked him to slow down and let the two vehicles cross as he was still some distance from the lorry but he did'nt listen. I saw Neil too saying something to him but still he did'nt stop. Our heart beats grew louder and sweat oozed out from almost all the parts of the body. In a moment, Lavesh's bike was in the middle of the lorry on the left and the bus on the right. The space in between was just enough for the bike and even a slight lateral movement or a small angle from the vertical would bring disaster. I closed my eyes...Saurabh could'nt afford to. As the two vehicles completely crossed each other, I took a deep breath and looked up. Lavesh and Neil were not in the view. I asked Saurabh to speed up and overtake the lorry. As we were going passed the lorry, we saw both Neil and Lavesh standing by the roadside with the bike alongside. We took a deep sigh of relief that nothing had happened to them. Neil was smiling but the smile was'nt just a smile, it had the nervousness of a man who has just escaped a major accident by a whisker, to say the least. Lavesh was as serious as a dead man. He was looking in the void, thoughtful or thoughtless, I dont know. As he saw us coming, he gave a short gaze to us and again went back into the void. No one spoke for a while...all were mum. After a while, the silence was broken by me when I just said "Lets go!".

Driving back home all were still silent. I took Lavesh's bike and made Neil sit behind me. Lavesh was behind Saurabh. He was still lost. We drove back home at the slowest speed I had ever driven. As we came in front of our school, it was already closed. A few staff members, who usually left the school late, were seen outside the main gate. We had reached just on time or maybe five minutes late.

We changed bikes and went home. Back home no one asked us anything and neither did we tell anyone anything and the story is still within us four, well, till now!